I did not plan for it, nor I even dreamt of it. But it just happened. Mind you, it did not happen overnight. However, it was like a seed that has been ignored over time, and yet when it touched soil, somehow magically, as if someone (or something) was taking care of it, this little thing began to sprout. Until one day, the tiny leaves were already springing from the ground- uncontrollable, mindless, devastating, yet undoubtedly, beautiful.
I have been single for the longest time. So long I am not even sure when the last time I was in a relationship with someone. If my memory serves me right, I think it was five years ago. (Too long, I know.) Maybe I have not just met the right person yet, or I was too focused in reaching my dream of becoming a licensed architect. In other words, it was not in my top priority. If I were to rank them accordingly, it would be: (1) family; (2) career; (3) love. Also, it may have been because I enjoyed the company of my close friends that I did not feel the "need" to be with someone. Sure I may have met some people along the way, but no one was able to fully capture my heart. Or at least, sustain it.
What I am going through right now, I am not yet 100% sure. My mind is pointing me to the other direction, but my stubborn heart still insists on it. I like her, I might even love her. But the thing is, I could not change some truths. I have no choice but to accept reality that some things are just not meant to be.
But why do I have this nagging feeling inside? As if a faint voice is telling me not to give up just yet. To cling unto something that is barely there? To hope, to be more patient, to love....and to hurt?
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