Last Semester in 3...2....1.....

Tomorrow is O-Day or 'Orientation Day' in USYD. It marks the first day of the semester -- MY LAST SEMESTER!

Time indeed flies. I can still remember everything when we first set foot here in the land down under. I remember what I wore (a maroon sweater and Gap jacket given by Tita Neneng), what Sydney Airport smelled like (poop, seriously something's terribly wrong with the exhaust system in their toilets), what I ate on the plane (beef stew something), and how nervous I felt when lining up for the customs check with the gigantic, sniffing K-9s (not that I brought anything illegal, except for the Jollibee burger "I forgot" to dispose of.) The memory is still fresh like it was only yesterday when a Filipino airport employee offered to take our "obligatory photo" because she heard us speaking in Filipino while walking along Duty Free.

Fast forward thirteen months, and here I am, down to my third (and last) semester.

#AASjourney

This #AASjourney has nothing but a serious of ups and downs. Meeting new friends and forming bonds with other international students, I'd say, are the highlights of this once-in-a-lifetime adventure. Well, aside from the forthnightly stipend that allows us to shop every, er, once in a while (hello, Catch of the day) and go on trips and vacations, or in my case, tick items off my wishlist, without even having to find work. For those who brought along their families, it is also a great opportunity for them to earn Australian dollars while working odd jobs or for kids to earn free Australian education. More importantly, we are able to stash some savings for when we go back to the Philippines (I honestly need to work on this though. lol)

#Ozwinterbreak

Speaking of trips, I was able to visit Melbourne and Canberra during the winter break, and yeah, some of the tourist attractions here in Sydney as well. Having visited other states, it made me realise that I definitely made the best choice in choosing a uni for my lifestyle (if I have any). Melbourne's weather is, to put it simply: "nakakapikon." It's literally four seasons in a day, or it can even change in a matter of minutes! haha. In addition, I was irked by their transport system, especially the tram. We did not know when to top on or off, or what the heck were we supposed to do. I remember we only tapped twice, and our $27 was gone just like that. On a happier note, I love its artsy, hipster vibe and they have interesting architecture... and oh, got to experience snow. Our snow experience made me forget my irritability for a while. On the other hand, Canberra was like walking around in a huge, yet empty freezer. It was -4 degrees when we arrived at 6 a.m. Anyway, will try to blog about my winter break trip in detail some other time.

Nobody said it was easy

I am more than grateful for being here. Although, sometimes I tend to forget my purpose, get distracted or disheartened. Being an international postgraduate student is definitely not easy. I could not count how many sleepless nights I spent in Badham to work on a paper (or papers!), or how many KFC chicken wings (comfort food) I ate during those grueling times or how much acne have broken out from my face because of that. Haha. Yet I need to prepare myself for another round, and hopefully, I can still come out alive.

Some of our co-scholar friends who only had one year programs already went home to their home countries. It's sad, but it is going to happen. Like I said in my previous post, Australia is only temporary. Although bittersweet, we know that we all NEED to go home soon.



I can only pray and look forward to the coming months. I pray for good health, wisdom, and strength for everyone who is still in this journey with me, and for our families to be healthy and safe back home.
I hope He will guide me in making the right decisions or learn from the bad ones, and lastly, that everything I do, will be His will.

Amen.

SEM TWO. DONE.

Hello there!

Last night, I submitted my last paper for the semester. It was a briefing report for DESC9147 Sustainable building design principles. We had to do a "redesign" of a sustainable building from a previous assignment. Our group's building was the Singapore National Library, which we had to "relocate" in a location in Sydney. It was interesting to do, but I had to say that our enthusiasm was already waning since it was already the last one. Well, I hope we will do just fine... although, I failed to do a 3d model because I could not download the program needed, Sefaira.... just keeping my fingers crossed!

I have to say, I actually enjoyed learning this semester. The course is really interesting (and relevant), and I admire how the professors seem so knowledgeable about their craft. I could not be more pleased with my choice of program and uni. Also, I have made some cool, awesome friends who are really good in their craft as well. All my subjects were intensives, which meant that we only met for five times for the whole semester. The classes were 9am-5pm, with classrooms spread out across uni. We also learned new programs too- Design builder, Climate consultant, and Sefaira.

It is without saying that the semester was not a "walk in the park." Definitely had some down times. 

It was during holy week (3rd week of April) that I felt ill. The pain started from my lower back then radiated to my right leg down to my knee. It was horrible. I have never felt so much pain in my life. I cried several times, because it would take me almost half an hour to just stand from my bed. I did not want to worry Mommie, so I could not tell her how bad it was, until I felt I had to go to an emergency room. It was a Sunday, and my housemate/classmate, Harold, offered to go with me to RPA Hospital. We waited for three hours before I could be seen by a doctor (it was a triage hospital.... the doctor was young and hot, btw. lol. I just had to say that). She said that it was muscle spasm, and not the nerves. I was really scared since with what happened to Jankie and all, it was really frightening. I had a follow up check up with a GP here in Marrickville. A Vietnamese doctor. He gave meds the first time, but did not seem to work. I had xrays done, and thankfully, they were all clear. He gave me some muscle relaxants and some prednisone (steroids), told me to do some stretches. After about 5 days, I was well again. I did not have to use the cane my housemate bought for me from Daiso. It was a good thing, too, that I asked Jankie's physical therapist for some exercises to do. I think that really helped.

That experience was indeed a wake up call. I should have gone to see a doctor right away, and not wait for it to worsen. I was immobile for 10 days before I decided that it was getting really serious. At first, I thought it was UTI, so I drank cranberry juice and all those home remedies stuff. It turned out, it was my sedentary lifestyle that was the culprit. I needed to move more a lot, which was not necessary the case, and the intensive classes did not help either. 

On a lighter note, I finally was able to purchase one of things on my "checklist." After researching for several weeks, I found a legit camera store that sells the cheapest in Sydney (based on some forums). It was a Fujifilm XT20 with 16-50mm lens (silver). I got it for $1,299, which I think was a good deal, 'cos other stores sell it for $1700 just for the body! Anyway, I don't want to convert it to pesos since I could already buy a motorcycle with that amount. lol. Next on my checklist is a Yamaha travel guitar... hmmmm..... 

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The time just flew so fast... Two of the "clingies" are heading home and my closest foreign friend is going home, as well. It's kinda sad, but it's a reality we all must face. Sydney is just temporary. And all these is just gonna go down in our memory banks. 

I am starting to have anxious thoughts of what I will do when I come home. Should I practice in Zamboanga? Teach in WMSU? Put up my own firm or go try my luck in Singapore, perhaps? or maybe I can teach in Silliman University or San Carlos in Cebu. Wherever my feet may take me, I hope I will have peace of mind. 

But..... let's not worry about that yet. 

One thing I know is for sure, SEMESTER TWO IS A WRAPPPP!

Difficult Times

If I were to choose a year to represent the undying 'life-is-like-a-wheel' cliche, I would definitely pick 2016. The previous year of the monkey indeed had its series of ups and downs. I got to travel around Ilocos Region with my mom and sister (one of my travel bucket lists), was finally able to fly to Australia for my scholarship (which I had to painstakingly, patiently wait for two years or so), met and became friends with some amazing people along the way (co-Filipino scholars and some foreigners too,) got to live independently abroad and experience new and exciting things, learned a few neat stuff from the abundant classes and workshops available around Sydney- just to name some of the positives. For the not-so-positive events- experienced winter blues firsthand (the struggle was real), a classmate passing away, academic struggles, homesickness, and just before the year turns into a close, one of my sisters suffered from GBS- which was the most challenging not only for her, but for the entire family as well. Still, I can't help but be thankful for the gift of life, opportunity, and family.

Dark Clouds, Aussie-style

November must be one of the most challenging months for me. Pressures with finishing assessments, problems with the family back home, unrequited love problems... those are some of the things that plagued me for the past weeks, and as the old adage says, "when it rains, it pours."

Although I hate to admit it, I think I had a serious bout with depression two weeks before my final deadline, which was only last week. I could not function well. I could not sleep. I drink to drown my sorrows. One of the serious things I noticed was my poor sleeping pattern. I barely have 2 or 3 hours of sleep a night. To make matters worse, I submitted 2 assignments late because I could not think properly.

I know I should have asked for help, to reach out. Yet I knew that my sounding board, Sewang, was going through a roller coaster of emotions of her own. I could not burden her even more. Two of my closest friends in uni went home to their respective families in their home countries, leaving me feeling all alone in the most crucial part (yet) of my postgrad experience. Yet I appreciate it when they check up on me once in a while. It's as if they have never left my side, but who am I kidding.

It is not fair to say that I am already over it. In fact, I just guzzled 2 1/2 beers tonight just to feel numb (not entirely tho, since the first 1 1/2 cans of beer I drank were at a karaoke night with fellow international students.) I drank another one at home to keep myself from breaking down. What's even harder is that I can't cry. Even if I want to, even if my heart is bursting at the seams. Even if I want to shout at the top of my lungs, yet no sound is coming out. As if I am falling into an abyss. Some hands are reaching out, yet I still feel that my hand is slowly slipping away. Even my faith is being tested. I want to give up. To not feel anymore pain. This is all too much. I don't think I can still keep this seemingly strong facade anymore. I just want to break down and cry...yet no fucking tears are coming out. What the hell is wrong with me?

In nine days I will be coming home to Zamboanga. Maybe because what I am going thru is normal for a student in a foreign land. All the uncertainties, the feeling of inadequacy- that I am not good enough, not smart enough, not fast enough. I pray to God that my current state is just "normal."

It is so hard when you were the source of strength of some of the people around you, but when the strength is gone, to whom shall I draw strength from? My mind is blown. The people around me seem oblivious with what I am going thru.

I am just trying to get by each day. Each waking moment. Hoping that the dark clouds hovering over me will disappear. That there will be a new day, a new hope, a renewed strength for me.

5th Month!

I just checked the time (and date) on my laptop and realized that it's the 8th of the month, which means it's our 5th month here in the land down under. Who knew five months would just go by just like that. I only have two major papers (one is a 4000-word essay due on Friday) until next week, and first semester (technically, second) is gonna be a wrap!

Wow!

There are so many things I have learned and is learning- about school, architecture, sustainability, about building relationships and making friends, how to get by with housemates, etc. etc. So many things to adapt to, people to adjust to, makes one think that we are living inside the Big Brother House. Indeed, this might be the PBB Oz Edition. Lol. I just totally made that up, but it sure feels like we are "housemates" with an invisible hand watching over us (stalking our fb and instagram?). Now I know how it feels to be away from one's family, away from home and our comfort zones, away from close friends and to have mixed emotions about basically anything.

Here I am again with this emotional stuff. Yadda, yadda, yadda.

TGIS: Thank God, it's Spring!

Cadigal Greens, University of Sydney (Camperdown Campus)

I just got out from our intensive class in Indoor Environmental Quality class, one of our core (/major) subjects in the Architectural Science program I am currently enrolled in. It's rightly called "intensive" because it's a 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. class with an hour lunch break, and 2 or 3 10-minute coffee breaks in between. Luckily today, our prof and two guest lecturers finished early! So here I am, lounging on one of the bench/outdoor chair things at Cadigal Greens, enjoying the breezy, fresh Spring air, on a beautiful, laid back Friday afternoon, with earphones in place and a heart bursting with emotions at the seams.

I don't think i have ever written a feel-good post. Well, this is one... Today was just simply a good day. I did not feel sleepy during class, perhaps because my hibernation mode during winter has finally come to a close... Or it must be the two cups of Kopiko Brown I brought to class with me as my arsenal. Either way, I am happy that I survived it.

So many things have happened for the past three months since we started our #AASJourney: meeting and forming friendships with other students from other parts of the world, being overly attached (Read: "clingy") with fellow Filipino scholars, touring around Sydney, visiting musems (making the most out of the free Opal trips during weekends), attending free workshops (or paying for relatively cheap ones), shopping (!!!), getting through first round of gruelling assessments, family visiting me for 5 days -to name a few. The most unforgettable moment, not only for me and I'm sure with other AAS scholars as well, was when one of our Indonesian classmate, Tyo, suffered a heart attack during our Orientation Class. Yes, during class. And that memory will forever be etched in our hearts.

Yet, I cannot be more thankful for having given this opportunity to experience all this. My heart is overflowing with gratitude, and I know that academic life will only get tougher as time goes by. Homesickness will come knocking on our doors soon, as our 3-month honeymoon phase concludes. I pray that we will be able to surpass this. I pray that we can make through this, just like we survived our first winter.

The wind is getting chilly now, I think I better get inside the library or something.

Until next post....

Thank God for Spring. 😊😊😊

Hello from the Other Side

Sydney from the airplane!

G'day, Mate!

It's 12:04 a.m. Sydney time (GMT +10) and it has been 2 months and 9 days since I arrived in the land down under, Australia. I realize that I haven't posted anything since we set foot here on June 8, 2016. Needless to say that so many things (good and bad to terrible) things have happened, and to think that it's only the beginning of our Australia Awards Journey. I am surprised at how resilient we are despite everything, and I am thankful that we have each other (but let's not get too mushy just yet.)

Perhaps I can still catch up with my blog- in between tantamount readings and assessments. Besides, blogging has always been my best form of my, er, procrastination (hihihi.) This is somewhat putting oil on the gears, to somehow prepare myself in writing lengthy, "academic-sounding" essays and texts. Although, I also found a new fondness of cleaning- which is also a "productive" means of being "unproductive" (if you know what I mean.)

This post shall attempt to summarise all the events that transpired for the past months (notice the use of "s" instead of "z" in spellings, that's being Aussie right there, mayt! =P) Hopefully, I could write according to the timeline in the coming weeks.

But first, let's start from the beginning....

My First Six Months in the Construction World

I can't believe it's already Christmas in 3 days! THREE DAYS!!!

Saying that I have been busy for the past months could be the understatement of the year. Since the construction of our house started last June, it has been one heck of crazy, stomach churning, hair raising ride of emotions since then.

I feel like a newbie soldier that just has come out of a battlefield...bruised, filthy, bloodied to the very core... limping, yet walking slowly away from the crazy inferno. I guess construction life does this to people (at least to me.)

I have learned a great deal more about architecture, engineering, construction, and surprisingly, about business (among others) in the past six months in the construction world. It definitely trumps all those years of slaving around in a 9 to 5 job in front of a computer, with the occasional yells and burns from the boss and annoying co-workers. Although I have been an architect for 4 years now, I can say that I still have so much to learn.

Everyday is a learning process for me. Every client, every laborer or worker I work with, every peso I lost due to my own negligence, every lapse of judgement, every problem I encountered- they are all instruments that could make me better at what I do someday. Who knows, five, ten years from now, I could look back to this moment in my career and still be thankful for all the challenges I was able to surpass, with God's grace.

There were number of times that I wanted to give up, to not go on living. To runaway and leave is the easier route. But in my mind, and in my heart, this is what I wanted to do. I want to build and design people's dreams. I want to give to them their hard earned money's worth (though I learned this the hard way.) I need to fail in order for me to succeed. The lessons I took away are more important than the monetary gains.

There's this quote I have read somewhere that's quite fitting for my first six months of my solo career:

"If you fail, fail fast."

PMS-ing

Depression.

It comes in all forms and sizes. Just browse your facebook wall. Some will keep ranting about whatever crap they are going through - cursing, complaining, fussing about the inequalities of whatever.

For others, well, some just like to sleep all day long, wishing that everything will be alright when they finally wake up. But they never do.

For many others still, they keep buried in work. Tons and tons of work. Until their life is literally sucked out from their veins (Caffeine replaced their red blood cells, perhaps?) Exhausting every bit of energy their already tired bodies could endure, so that they would be too tired to think of their problems. Or to even feel anything.

My Stock Market Journey Starts Now

Today marks the day I finally took a giant leap towards my financial freedom... the most sensible thing I did with P 5,000 cash I earned from one of my projects. No, I did not purchase another gadget, or update my wardrobe (which terribly needs to), or buy tickets for my long-overdue vacation... Rather, I used the hard-earned-literally-sweat-and-tears-and-all-those-sleepless-nights money to buy my first stocks.

Yes, I finally joined the crazy, confusing, scary world of the STOCK MARKET!

3-month Hiatus

Sooooooo..... have I been THAT busy that I have not posted anything for three whole months?!?! Nor have I even had the time to visit my own blog! Whoah! I guess it's time for me to slow down a bit before I go berserk with all these busy-ness!

To keep things up to date, these are the stuff that have kept me busy (and sleepless!) for the past months...
(writing this blog while waiting for my sketchup render to finish-- that kind of busy- busy)

A Sunday Night Convo with Myself

Here we go again... This is all too familiar. I see there's actually a pattern of some sort here. I know you too well that I have an idea of where this is going, or not going.

Arei, this is your brain talking. Follow my advice: Slow down..... slow down!!!

An Oil Cutter Story

Source

This afternoon, I finally found the oil cutter I have been looking for ages. I stumbled upon it accidentally though. It was conveniently camouflaged in various lengths of sachets of Dove shampoo and Creamsilk in one of my parents' drawers. Funny how I never saw it there before, since I open that same drawer everyday before hitting the showers. I guess, I was just not looking.

Anyway, I was excited to try it because I never really tested it out since I bought it 4 or 5 years ago. I got the scrap glass I had lying around, and I prepared to cut a piece for my t-shirt printing business. All the while, my 5-year old nephew, Keyaan, was watching me intently.

15 Random Things I've Learned in My Thirty (Gulp) Years of Existence

Two days from now, the inevitable will happen. I could not stop it, nor could I control it. I have no other choice but to face it- just like any other person born in the year of the Ox, 1985.

It is still so surreal. I still feel like I am my sixteen year old self, still waiting for something GREAT to happen in my life.  I have now come to realize that THAT day will never come. It is what we make of it... Every. Single. Day. Like the old adage says, "it's the journey, not the destination."

The BIG 3-0. (sigh....) Maybe it's not gonna be that bad after all? Hmm.... I still have two days left to let it all sink in, to finally accept that I am leaving the "late twenties" behind.


Here are the things I have learned from my life (in general) so far. To wit:

The Waiting Game

I am back in my messy room, typing away in my messy work table. I kind of missed this (and yes, the mess too.) After all, I was away for a good ten days (mostly on the road.... *to blog or not to blog about it*)

The twins did not seem to notice I was gone, but Nadeen seemed a bit taller from the last time I saw her. Toki, on the other hand, was ecstatic to see me, like always.

Anyway, while my stomach is still digesting the fried chicken (ala Jollibee- recipe I got off Youtube) I cooked- which needs more salt, by the way, let me give you an update of the happenings for these past days....

Bicol Adventure Chronicles

The elusive Mt. Mayon, Albay, Bicol

Disclaimer: This is a lengthy post!

One fateful night of January this year, two of my closest friends from my former office and I were having a casual group chat on Facebook. Phoebus and May Anne, although our personalities differ significantly, we all have one thing in common, and that is our love to travel. They both went with me to Bohol last year to attend a friend’s wedding, and perhaps that was the beginning of our budding, albeit expensive, hobby.

This time, we were bound to explore BICOLANDIA!

I have always wanted to visit Bicol- to eat its famous delicacies, such as laing and bicol express, to take selfies at Cagsawa Ruins, to marvel at century-old churches that were preserved in time, and of course, to see the beauty of Mt. Mayon with my own eyes. I have had many Bicolana friends in college (thanks to UAPSA) that made me want to explore Bicol even more.

Thanks to promo fares, we were able to book a flight to Legazpi for a relatively cheap price (my ZAM-MNL/ MNL-ZAM ticket was a different story!) Since May Anne is a Bicolana herself, she gladly obliged to be our tour guide.

#BackpackersReunite. On board Cebu Pacific Air bound for Legazpi.

And so the adventure begins….

Malamawi Island : A Hidden Paradise

White Beach, Malamawi Island, Basilan

Once in a while, it is nice to go out of our comfort zones. Break away from the monotony of everyday life- to not think too much nor plan too detailed, instead, to just get out there, explore and experience the earth's wonders. Take risks. Yesterday was one of those rare moments, and it's definitely one for the books!

My Latest Addiction

One of the fondest memories of my childhood was riding a bike. That feeling when the wind touches your face, that rebellious streak you get when riding on cemented roads (even though your Mom told you not to.) That moment you fantasized you were one of the pros when tackling that (tiny) hump or pile of gravel in your backyard, or perhaps the freedom one feels when driving alongside motor vehicles on a busy highway.

I remember when I was about 6 years old, I had this little blue bicycle with three small wheels (a tricycle?) Now as I think about it, I think it was originally one of my older sisters'. Being the youngest in the family, I got to keep their toys after they've grown out of them. I had an extreme aversion to dolls anyway, but the cool ones I got to keep for myself (like Papi, a malnourished brown teddy bear, which was my Tita Neneng's originally.)

Last November, as soon as I got hold of my terminal pay (after waiting for 3 months!), I was decided to relive one of my childhood memories- so I bought myself a mountain bike. :)

What's Up, 2015?

Source

Nine days had passed since the Year of the Sheep began... I was not able to post on New Year's Eve since everyone in the family had a bad case of the flu. Until now, we are still coughing like mad dogs. I hope this does not mean that we will be sick for the rest of 2015...

A "Maybe"

Source

They say, be careful with what you wish for, for it might come true. On the other hand, make sure that you are prepared to receive the answers you have been praying for.

Tonight at around 10:30, I received a very important e-mail. I have been waiting for this since I did my panel interview last November 20. True enough, the schedule they gave was right on.