A "Maybe"

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They say, be careful with what you wish for, for it might come true. On the other hand, make sure that you are prepared to receive the answers you have been praying for.

Tonight at around 10:30, I received a very important e-mail. I have been waiting for this since I did my panel interview last November 20. True enough, the schedule they gave was right on.



I am now a Reserve Candidate for Australia Awards Scholarship for June 2015 Intake. By reserve, meaning, if a recipient fails to accept the award, I will then have a slot. In other words, I am wait-listed.

Honestly, I do not know what to feel about this. Should I be happy that I might still have a chance at it? A part of me is, while the other half is somehow distraught. It would have been easier with a YES or a NO. It would be simpler, easier. I can just move on with my life, and think about the next step. But a MAYBE means I have to put my life on hold, at least for the next six months.

I have resigned to the idea that if it is meant for me, then it is meant for me. I am extremely grateful for the experience of being shortlisted for panel interview, and for having gone through  that grueling experience for once in my adult life. I can't say that I'll do it again, but for sure I'll be better and wiser if and when.

Perhaps, this is yet another test of faith for me. And it is really just up to me on how I take it- positively or negatively.

As always, I want to look at the bright side of things. Hoping, yet open to the possibility that this may not be the time yet.

I leave it all up to HIM. He knows what's best for me, and His plans are always better than my dreams.

I just hope and pray that I will be ready for the answer, whatever it is.


It's gonna be a Merry Christmas after all...