For almost two years, one of the major reasons why I stayed was because of the training bond. I did not want to burden my parents about it, even though Mommie kept assuring me that we'd just pay for it if I could not take it anymore and finally decide to leave. Of course, I do not want to donate Php 80,000 to one of the biggest companies in the Philippines. Although, I have not heard of anyone actually paying it. Just that they did not release his terminal pay or something.
Another reason is, I did not want to go home empty handed. I barely have enough savings yet, though I have made some investments on gadgets (assuming that they are, in fact, investments.) I want to at least be able to buy something useful when I go home, like a motorcycle, or a car even. I did not want to depend on Daddie or Mommie forever. At least, I want to have a fat bank account when I call it quits with
My training bond officially expired last January, or February. Actually there are many loop holes in the contract that's why fellow officers can just get away with it. My "major reason" for staying has been lifted. And as for a fat bank account, I realized that one CAN NOT just save enough if he stays in Manila. Everything is expensive here. And to make matters worse, you have to make sure the meager salary you receive every 15 days can suffice til another payday. It's not impossible, but boy, it sure is hard. I have been in Manila for almost 3 years now, and unfortunately, my ATM card is almost as battered as Vhong Navarro's face (no pun intended.) I occasionally send an SOS text to Daddie during desperate times.
If I really want to earn big, Zamboanga is not a bad place to start a business or hold a private practice. I can DO that. But I feel in my heart of hearts that this is still not the right time. I feel that I still have so much to learn, and that I need to gain more experience in various fields. Meet new people, learn from them. Grow.
So why have I stayed so long even if the salary is not enough? the system's crappy? sometimes a-hole bosses? Why don't I mind the very long hours of work? The unpaid overtime? The lousy treatment to the employees?
Beats me! But I guess, it's pride. Pride, not in its negative sense, but the overwhelming feeling of actually being part of something big. Part of a legacy, if you may. That many years from now, you can look back and say that you were the Design Officer for a certain mall. For a reason that I am certain that many years from now, that mall will still be standing. YOU helped build something as big and as important for the community. So that your family and relatives can proudly say that their daughter was one of the architects of this or that. At least, you can give back to all the hardships you put them through, there would be a structure that they could be proud of. I hope.
Having made friends in the office made monotonous work life somehow bearable. They are there to ease your pain, or willingly listen to your rantings because they know what you feel. They know your struggles, because at some point, they, too, were in your shoes. You eat meals with them almost 3x a day. You spend almost 60% of your waking hours with them. Genuine friendships were actually formed. It feels like this is the "College of the Real World."
Just as the changing seasons, friends come and go. Today is the last working day of one of my closest friends in the office, Tintin. I could still even remember our first day- how weird we might have looked, or how awkward we would have seemed. I admired her strength, her tenacity. That despite our considerable age difference, we somehow clicked. I saw her transform from an angst-ridden, no rice-eating teenager, to a responsible, mature young lady. I am happy for her that she's on her way to pursuing her dreams, it's just sad that I would not be there to see her reach them. Well, there's always Facebook!
Today's full of mixed emotions.
Maybe I just need to learn the art of detachment.
Photo Credit: https://www.google.com.ph/search?q=changing+seasons&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=jU0VU_zcIKfwiQeAk4DgDg&ved=0CAcQ_AUoAQ&biw=1198&bih=329#facrc=_&imgdii=_&imgrc=5c6j6HWTSLZ6AM%253A%3BggNJkRf2C93WuM%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252F3.bp.blogspot.com%252F-xM6QdYRLRFc%252FTq4dcRxVUvI%252FAAAAAAAABMg%252Fq-MW_O4BbFI%252Fs1600%252F4_seasons_by_vxside.jpg%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fdavidsills.blogspot.com%252F2011%252F10%252Fseasons.html%3B1600%3B1200
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