What's your Motive?

Mo·tive

/mōtiv/

noun

noun: motive; plural noun: motives

1. a reason for doing something, esp. one that is hidden or not obvious.

"a motive for his murder"

 Synonyms: reason, motivation, motivating force, rationale, grounds, cause, basis, object, purpose, intention

In every given second, minute of everyday, there is always, and I SAY ALWAYS, a reason for anything and everything that we do. It may be from the easiest, simplest decisions, like, say, what to eat for breakfast or what clothes to wear? Which sock to put on first? or what shampoo to use? Sometimes, we do not even notice anymore simply because it has become a tedious repetition and routine. It is as if we are on autopilot. Thinking is not even required anymore, as the saying goes, "it's as easy as breathing...."

On a more deeper level, people make decisions based on their personal "WHY?" We do, act, or speak because we have our own reasons for doing so. Some may understand us, oftentimes, not. But I think it's alright, because we are not designed to be people pleasers all our lives. At least, I think so. Otherwise, we would not be given a living and breathing brain if we are not to use it. Or at least, learn to use it properly..or at least have the decency to NOT use it to harm other people.




It is slowly becoming clear to me. The pieces are finally falling into place. That nagging feeling I had that fateful Monday night was in fact, true. Now I know that my kutob had a basis. I knew something was up. I just did not entertain it or I was too blinded, too hurt, to see what was actually happening?

Words are like sharp knives piercing through flesh. Written or spoken, it doesn't matter. Especially when one reads or listens to them in the most inopportune time. When taken out of context, the message may not be understood just as the autor/writer has intended. There may be rooms for interpretations, but at the end of the day, it still depends on the one who wrote it.

This is MY blog. I did not write it for anyone, nor am I planning to do so. I made it because this is my way of expressing my deepest and darkest thoughts. I am not always vocal, it has never been easy for me to open up to just to anyone (trust issues? idk.) People who know me well know that. This is one of the things why I am able to keep my sanity, aside from painting, videoke-ing, or playing the guitar. Some people play sports, run for hours and hours, or jump off a cliff when something is not right (or just the heck of it?) in their lives... Well, me, I write.

I may have written some things on this blog that might have hurt some people (/person.) I do not intend to delete, censor or retract anything. What's said has been said. I do not owe anyone an explanation, because as what I have said, this is my blog. My thoughts. My feelings. I do not 'share' this on my facebook wall, because this is more personal, even if I decided to place it on a social media.

Only a handful know about this site. You can even try to google it, and you would have similar hits, similar blog titles. Unless you open each and every one of them, you would not easily know that this one is mine. I am not upset that you have read this. I am not embarrassed nor anything like that. Anyone is welcome here... or else, I would be just saving my entries on my hard drive if I do not let people read. I mean, what's the point? Really?

I have several theories as to the HOW...what's really bothering me is the WHY?

I have only one person in mind who is capable to do such a thing. I may be wrong, but my gut and intuition is telling me differently. I would just leave it up to karma to knock on your door. You, asshole.


Let me end with this:

You are an intelligent person, we both know that... but do you know what HIS motive is?