The Fallen

Source

Last Friday (August 1,) I found out that another colleague in college died on Wednesday. At first, I could not believe it. I did not want to believe it. For one thing, the sources were not too "reliable" in my opinion, and besides, there were no news about it in Facebook whatsoever. I immediately went to the guy's wall. No condolences to the family, no recent posts still. It seems that nobody seems to want to "talk" about it. Only a select few knew... and what's sad is, I really did not believe it until I personally asked one of his closest friends, and she confirmed it.



Dante was one of my "first" friends in Arki -friendly, unusually chatty. I remember sitting in the landscape/ plantbox/ centerpiece in our college building's lobby while waiting for my class in freshmen year. He approached me and we chatted for quite some time. I could not recall exactly what we talked about, but what I do remember was he graduated from Ateneo (AdZU) High School and that his name was taken from an Italian author, Dante Aligheri. He even invited me to audition for the university paper- University Digest, alongside him. Unbeknownst to him, it was already my plan to do so since I have been reading some works in Tejido way back in high school (plus my older sister, Chiching, was also a member of the org), and was inspired by them.

I still remember the grueling selection process we had to go through. We wrote 4-5 articles in one sitting, and had to move to the next room for another part of the exam. In the Feature Writing section, Dante kept talking to me and was telling his story. I just kept nodding to him (not trying to be rude) while struggling to finish my writing myself. He talked about an uncle who died because of a sore thumb or something. Funny how even that happened 12 years ago, I still remember that moment clearly. I was physically, emotionally, mentally drained after that. Luckily though, I got in, while he was not too fortunate.

We were not the rubbing elbows type, but we did share some moments, casual chats from time to time. Staying in a 5-year course gives one no choice but to be friends with the people you see and meet everyday. Besides, our college was one of the smallest in terms of population at that time (even til now?), so it's easy to bump into each other regardless the year level. We were members of the same organizations, and he was even my contender for the College Student Board stint. He was having his thesis then, so that must be the reason 7 more people voted for me to be the Governor (which deserves a whole article in itself.)

I remember I was sitting in (/observing) during his defense in the 1st semester. He literally walked out in the middle of the deliberation. I had to give props for his guts though, since accordingly, one of the jurors had something personal against him. Quite a common scene in our college, regrettably.

It's always sad to lose someone...even if you're not close. I am deeply saddened by the news, and it came as a wake up call for me. That life is indeed short, and it could be taken away from you in a snap. The uncertainty and unpredictability of it gives me a sickening feeling at the pit of my stomach- that makes me want to puke at the very thought of it. That I should not take anything, or anyone, for granted.

It made me question my existence. What have I done with my life? What if I die today? I haven't even given anything to my family yet. I haven't bought Mommie her baby piano or sponsored Daddie to go to Meccah. It seems that I am just floating away, penniless, broken and seems that anywhere I go, I always get myself in some kind of trouble. =(

I know God has better plans for me. I know that my life is worth at least something. I pray that I can make a difference in someone's life. I pray that I find meaning in my being...when I still have the time.


+RIP Dante.