Reflections

In a corporate jungle such as this place I'm in, it's easy to get lost in the piles of papers on our desks, long lines of To-do lists, beating of unrealistic deadlines, phone calls, emails, meetings, and just basically, work that never seem to end even if we spend more than 10 hours of our waking hours in a day. The sad part is, money is still not enough to sustain a decent lifestyle, let alone pay the monthly rent and bills. Then like lightning striking unexpectedly in a hot day, it got me thinking.... is this all worth it?

This message is posted on my flat screen monitor...and everyday as I look at it, the big question remains: What is my mission? 

Is it sitting on my desk all day, rushing drawings? Calling suppliers? Giving instructions to designers? Doing follow-ups?

Clearly, it is not. Otherwise, I would be happy going to work everyday. I would feel motivated. I would not have to drag my lazy butt every morning, and not have that heavy feeling of not being in the right place. The only tolerable fact is having found new friends that make everyday life somehow bearable.

Everybody I know, well, most people my age (or even younger) I know think of going abroad. We are all just waiting for December to receive our bonuses then off they go to who knows where. Singapore, mostly. Most of the architects I know is already working there, or is planning to work there. Suddenly it became the Meccah for Architects.

Only God knows what will happen next year... two years from now, or ten years after. I am still unsure of the path I'll take. I could go home and start my own practice, and start my own business at the same time. I could fly to Dubai or Malaysia or Singapore and be away from my family in exchange of a fat pay check. I could take up law or that 2-year professional education so I can teach in college. Come to think of it, I've been away from my family for almost 2 years now and even if I get to go home every 2 months, I still miss them everyday. I miss Toki. I miss the simple life.

Living alone in a big city has its perks. Independence has its advantages. But at the end of the day, you ask yourself what matters most...and for me, it is my family.

I think my Mom would be glad if I break the news.... though I still have 6 months to decide.

I pray that the Good Lord will enlighten me, guide me and lead me to the path He planned out for me.