Dark Blue Monday

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It's Monday once again.

And once again, I'm bored to death. I mean, really. For the past months, I have been easily distracted from my work. Interesting news articles, new songs, or a difficult word or idea that pops in my head which prompts me to do an extensive research about it because I would not be able to sleep properly if I do not know what it is. Sometimes I even think that I have ADHD? except the HD part. OR... I am just plain BORED?

Migraine

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I have been having migraine attacks lately, specifically this week. Just a while ago, I drank 1 and a half tablets of Biogesic because the left part of my head is starting to act up again. I remember what my doctor said, migraines are like fire. You should put it out right away and not wait for it to be worse and uncontrollable. I hope it would not get any worse this time.

There are several factors that trigger it. Too much caffeine, stress, chocolates, bright light, noise, even heat. I am not a medical doctor, it's just what I have gathered from all the information I read since I have been suffering from this illness (if you may) since I was in grade 4 or grade 5. The biggest factor, I think, is stress.

A stressful environment, a mountain-load of paperworks and cadworks, and trying to finish everything before the deadlines are just some of the deadly combinations that sucks the life out of an ordinary employee like myself. Throw in some office jerk(s) in the mix and you'd not be surprised why the veins in my head want to burst and pop out.

Talking about noise, the sound of that almost-baritone chortle leaves a putrid taste in my mouth. For me, it registers like trying so hard to start up an old, worn-down automobile- dusty, rusty and just plain old dirty. Its as if my ears are begging to bleed every time I hear that annoying sound. My earphones are no match against that agonizing bellow.

There are several talks in the office about people calling it quits. Who could blame them? With the crappy salary, crappy treatment, and (some) crappy people in the business, I am amazed at why the hell on earth I am still in this crappy place?

I hope I can summon up the courage to tell my boss about my plans. In all fairness, she's the best one I had since I started in January 2012. Perhaps I could let that one time she ratted me out slip this time. Besides, she knows how to make up for her shortcomings.

Just Those Days

Why do we do the things we do? For what? For whom? What is your Emotional Why?

Last night at around 8 o'clock, I was not in a particularly good mood to start with the computations of the Area Tab of my project. Surprisingly though, I enjoyed doing the drawings, but I couldn't seem to get the drive going to finish the whole thing. Still too early for me to go home, I stayed around the office until 9, while 3 or more officemates were rendering overtime as well.

I dared to ask the difficult questions. I might have sound too philosophical last night, but it's just sometimes, we NEED to ask the questions. We just can't go on living our lives like robots, programmed to do this or that. Like zombies marching endlessly, not knowing for what or why, just because "we have to" just doesn't really cut out for me anymore.

Confessions of a Twenty-nine Year Old

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Patience is such a bitter pill to swallow. Other than that, you have to keep taking it because the effect of it easily runs out. Sustenance. It is such a painful price to pay for your dreams to come true, or for the Universe to finally conspire that someday, one day, all your aspirations will eventually be a reality.

Wake Up, Arei

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I woke up to the sound of my android phone's alarm clock. It's not the usual noisy, nerve-wrenching alarm you hear in the old times. Instead, it sounds more like a baby's lullaby. It just won't freaking shut up unless you press the Snooze or Dismiss button.

I hope I can still get an alarm clock in my waking hours. Sometimes, when one can get too engrossed with the ramblings of everyday life, you tend to lose track of the time. You get distracted by the simplest things. Admittedly, I am easily distracted nowadays. I guess it only goes to show that my heart is truly somewhere else. Somewhere which I need to find for myself. It's as if my drive has waned. My thirst is not quenched anymore. I need a new environment. I need to do something else. I need to be someplace else.

Hello There

Hello there.

It has been a while since we talked. How have you been? I was getting kind of worried that you might have forgotten about me already. I've missed you. Time flies so quickly that I did not even notice that tomorrow is already the month of May. So many things have happened, as if everything's on fast forward. Some people have left, most of them already moved on. I just wonder, why haven't you?