First Monthsary

Source

Yesterday was my first "monthsary" of being unemployed. I am now officially a professional bum. I had to say, this was beyond what I expected or hoped it to be. Maybe I just need to be patient more, or I need divine intervention to get me out of this rut I am in.

I am not complaining. Though there are times, like most days, I tend to be disappointed with myself. The last weeks have not been a walk in the park. It's like everyday is a struggle, no matter where I am.



My regrets? being too complacent and especially being financially irresponsible. Money does make the world go around. Well, mine at least. I could not even get out of the house without it.

I guess this is a real wake up call for me. I need to fix my life. I need to think for my future. What do I really want to do with my life? I need to act fast. I should not depend on anybody but myself. In a few months, I will be thirty years old. And that scares the crap out of me.

I don't want to be this way anymore. I don't want to have this feeling. I know I need to push harder, I know I need to carry my butt out of bed if I need to make things work.

This is my chance to redeem myself. My chance to prove myself- not to anyone else, but for me.

I am my worst critic, and I am planning to change that. At least for the better.

So help me God.