Difficult Times

If I were to choose a year to represent the undying 'life-is-like-a-wheel' cliche, I would definitely pick 2016. The previous year of the monkey indeed had its series of ups and downs. I got to travel around Ilocos Region with my mom and sister (one of my travel bucket lists), was finally able to fly to Australia for my scholarship (which I had to painstakingly, patiently wait for two years or so), met and became friends with some amazing people along the way (co-Filipino scholars and some foreigners too,) got to live independently abroad and experience new and exciting things, learned a few neat stuff from the abundant classes and workshops available around Sydney- just to name some of the positives. For the not-so-positive events- experienced winter blues firsthand (the struggle was real), a classmate passing away, academic struggles, homesickness, and just before the year turns into a close, one of my sisters suffered from GBS- which was the most challenging not only for her, but for the entire family as well. Still, I can't help but be thankful for the gift of life, opportunity, and family.

It is without saying that the past Christmas and New Year celebration we had was the most different from all the celebrations we had before. J* is still recovering from GBS (Guillain-Barre Syndrome), an auto-immune disease that attacked her nerves, thus making her incapable of walking or even doing simple things on her own. It all took us by surprise, one day she was living a perfectly normal, healthy life, then next thing we knew, her life entirely ceased to function normally. She was the most health-conscious among the four of us sisters, and she would even scold me when I send them photos of my usually unhealthy meals through our Viber group. But then, as if a scene from a poorly written telenovela, a crisis has to happen, and unfortunately, she was to be the victim.

It was hard to see her in that condition at first. I almost had a fight with my mother pertaining my return flight home, because I kept putting it off. I was procrastinating. I was delaying it. Truth be told, I was merely not ready to face reality. I did not want to see her in her state. The usually positive, jovial person I know is nowhere to be found. I was not sure that I could keep the strong facade that everyone (I think) was expecting of me.Yet last November 30, I boarded a Cebu Pacific flight to Manila, a week after my final deadline of papers were submitted.

I pray, and I hope that she will recover from this. That this is just a temporary setback, that in a couple months or so, she will be back to her active self, even more than before. It's hard to see her like this. I would give up everything just for everything to be OK again. For the first time in my 31 years of existence, I was able to finish the Simbang Gabi or nine mornings with my mom. Waking up at 4 a.m. was the least I could do, with the hope that our prayers may be granted. It's her 2nd month and two weeks since she was diagnosed, I pray to God that she will be okay.

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First week of January 2017

As if to make matters even worse, last January 6, a burglar broke into my room. It was a Friday afternoon, I went to City Hall to renew my PTRs, when I came back at around 4:30 p.m., I found my bedroom door locked. I opened it with a card I keep in my wallet, and found that my drawers and other stuff were in disarray. I hate myself for not taking photos and being so naive about it, because all I thought that it was my nephews who did that. It did not ever occur to me to check my laptop and ipad on my table since I saw my DSLR on my bed, just in plain sight. At around 9 p.m., I was about to do something when I realized that my laptop and ipad had indeed gone missing. So with their chargers. Also, the Gshock watch Sewang gave me was gone too. I could not explain my feelings back then. I did not cry. I was just numb. I changed all the passwords in all of accounts, which thankfully I still had the presence of mind to do so. We saw fingerprints on the mouldings of the window at the back. We're speculating that the burglar/s went in that way, but the most suspicious thing is that Toki usually barks when she sees strangers. The maids did not take notice or did not even care to check up on her.

Despite all the unfortunate string of events, I thank God that no one was hurt. The kids were home, running around every so often. My sister was just at the other room! God forbid if anything happened to her, it would be so devastating. Thank God, they spared her.

Right now, I am trying to be hopeful. I am trying to see the bigger picture. I want to keep positive. I know God hears every prayer, yet I guess I also need to pray for patience, and wisdom.